imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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