Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We have started to decorate penises.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
