i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
