i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize