Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
