how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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