Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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