Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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