she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
