Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We left the knife in your bed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
