The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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