My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
