The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
