You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
