She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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