O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
