Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
