So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
