covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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