My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
