Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
