i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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