Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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