VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
