everyone is single if you try hard enough
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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