Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I love having hate sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.