yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.