Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash

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  (704): happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash http://tfl.nu/ibz5
  Replies (16) Good night (2419) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3607) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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  (651): Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST! http://tfl.nu/a9dw
  Replies (14) Good night (417) Bad night (2566) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

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  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7169) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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  (318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc
  Replies (9) Good night (6108) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (65) Good night (27825) Bad night (1797) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.

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  (780): there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/rxgr
  Replies (13) Good night (3917) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

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  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2195) Bad night (7960)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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  (631): You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows http://tfl.nu/rci2
  Replies (44) Good night (4402) Bad night (2639) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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  (254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs
  Replies (29) Good night (2625) Bad night (1973) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.

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  (425): I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame. http://tfl.nu/kw0h
  Replies (10) Good night (4642) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR

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  (724): he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR http://tfl.nu/mrnu
  Replies (7) Good night (2265) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.

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  (306): The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious. http://tfl.nu/pkyz
  Replies (32) Good night (1853) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.

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  (734): Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/2s7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1392) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.

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  (801): You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that. http://tfl.nu/if9w
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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