Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity