somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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