maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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