I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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