I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
