omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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