He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
