hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
