We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So squirting runs in the family.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
