Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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