Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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