Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't notice because vodka
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?