Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Blood and glitter go together right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.