I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
