So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
