I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
