I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
