it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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