Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
