I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He felt like a one man threesome
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I love you.
Bad choice
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