I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
