Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize