Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
