she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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