Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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