i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
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Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
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Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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