he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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