i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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