you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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