I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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