Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
