He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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